Universal Symbol of Stillness

The mantis is a universal symbol of stillness.

In most cultures around the world, she is a messenger telling us to be still, go within, meditate, and reach a place of simplicity and calm.

I found this little harbinger two summers ago, while I was on one of my “pregnancy walks.” I was so glad to see her, and I instinctively put my hand to the ground next to her. She tentatively climbed onto my palm with her beautifully grotesque spindly legs. She seemed very weak but incredibly wise, as if she held the secrets to the universe.

Looking into her eyes gave me pause. Such majesty and mystery in one small-ish bug. A living testament to the existence of aliens and a reminder that all is well in nature. An ancient prophecy of wealth and abundance, and a reminder of the cycle of life: birth, death, and resurrection.

But where does the whole “female devours male during copulation” come into play here?

I’ll let that one be for now.

Wishing you all good fortune today and always.

💚Ali

Go Forth, Under the Open Sky, and Listen to Nature

Many of you know that before I became a stay-at-home / work-from-home momma, I used to be an English teacher. I taught 10th, 11th, and 12th grade English at all levels. To be in the classroom, learning and growing along with my students was such a wonderful privilege and experience.

Every day I tried to teach my students what it means to be moderate, respectful, and kind to themselves and others. Through literature, I demonstrated that nature can also teach them these things. The material didn’t always align, but sometimes the units coincided perfectly and I took full advantage.

During the fall semester, my American Literature (11th grade) students explored works by Transcendentalist and Romantic writers. One of my favorite pieces to explore was Thanatopsis, a poem by William Cullen Bryant.

In the excerpt below, Bryant praises the nurturing, mothering aspects of nature. The poem is particularly comforting to those who might succumb to depression, boredom, and loneliness, bringing thoughts of nature's constant healing presence to the reader. The poet describes nature's "voice of gladness," and ability to take away the pains of a troubled mind with her "mild and healing sympathy."

To him who in the love of Nature holds  

Communion with her visible forms, she speaks   

A various language; for his gayer hours   

She has a voice of gladness, and a smile   

And eloquence of beauty, and she glides   

Into his darker musings, with a mild   

And healing sympathy, that steals away   

Their sharpness, ere he is aware...

In an era inundated with instant gratification, people - especially children and teenagers - try to find the antidote to boredom, anxiety, disappointment, or sadness in technology.

All too quickly they reach for their iPads, computers, or the remote control. Perhaps a tiny remedy can be found there, but it won't be a cure. It will be yet another distraction from an authentic chance to know themselves. Instead, if they go outside and contemplate the natural world, marvel at the change of colors in a tree in the front yard, or simply take their headphones off, they might be able to give their racing minds a chance to relax and recharge.

Studies show that even pursuing an "analog" activity, such as coloring, drawing, or writing in a journal would aid their ability to ascertain their true emotions and state of mind. This all applies to adults as well as children. 

Why does nature have this healing power? Why does everything get better when we walk down a secluded wooded path at twilight?

When we contemplate the natural world, we see the clarity by which we actually exist. We humans are secondary to the cyclical rhythms of the world. We see the flowers emerging from the earth, unfurling skywards, flowering, then falling back asleep until the following year. We see the sunrise every day, and the moon rise at night, regardless of the feelings that accompany our daily, human struggles. The stars will always shine, the birds will continue to sing. 

As long as we care for it, nature will always be there as a constant comfort, while other aspects of our lives come and go. The essence of nature's healing is in its everlasting recurrence.

We can trust in nature because nature always bares herself before us, offering what she can give, regardless of the season. It is through this relationship of trust that we can all - children and adults - come closer to trusting and knowing our true selves. 

Go forth, under the open sky, and list   

To Nature’s teachings.

-William Cullen Byrant

Camp Friendship

As we head through these languid summer months, my mind drifts to my teenage experiences at summer camp. My brothers and I attended a wilderness camp north of Duluth, MN, where we flourished while living semi-off grid near the Canadian Quetico wildness. We became more independent and self-reliant as we learned basic wilderness survival skills along side other teenagers and young adults. By leaving suburban Chicago behind, we were able to exist within a unique community, commune with nature, test our limits, and become much stronger for it. In essence, that’s what camp is all about!

Sarah Ackenbom, Retreats Coordinator and Director of Camp Friendship in Palmyra

I recently connected to Sarah Ackenbom, Director and Retreats Coordinator of Camp Friendship located on the edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains in Palmyra, Virginia. 

As a former elementary school teacher, Sarah loves guiding children through their individual learning journeys. Naturally, she feels a very personal connection to the experiences that summer camp can offer children, and she also believes that adults can have a similar transcendent experience.

There’s something about attending a summer camp that can help people slow down, focus on the essential, and connect to what’s important. Learn more about this below as Sarah shares her perspective on the grounding effects of spending time at Camp Friendship.

Ali C: How does Camp Friendship help people slow down and live more simply?  How does the camp allow for a soulful connection with nature?

Sarah A: There’s something about coming to summer camp that innately allows you to breathe. Spending time outside hearing the crunch of pine needles underfoot and the smell of crisp mountain air just gives you the feeling of space that you may not find so easily elsewhere.  

Whenever I leave camp for whatever reason, it’s funny that the first thing I notice now is the quality of air.  Sometimes you don’t realize the importance of something until you no longer have it.  The air of camp is that for me.  I can breathe here, and nowhere else compares.  This aura that floats through camp air is what I believe helps those who visit here to stop and reflect.  There’s somehow more space for that reflection when you can breathe.  

Ali C: How will the camp reduce noise to help people reflect and grow?  Is there a digital detox element?

Sarah A: The sound of birds chirping replaces the need for an alarm clock and the river along the edge of our property creates the white noise people pay for on their mindfulness app without needing to look at a screen.  Because of this, I’m constantly reminded of a quote from Chinese philosopher Lau Tzu: “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” (Random note: Just because I live and work at Camp Friendship, doesn’t mean I’m constantly living by the words of philosophers.  I just read this particular quote attached to my tea bag one day and it stuck with me!)

There is a lot of noise outside the bubble of Camp to constantly produce, to superficially connect, to go, go, go.  Within this world, people can slow down – technology doesn’t really fit in a place like this.  Our young summer campers are required to give up all technology when they stay here.  We even ask them to bring disposable cameras, you know, the ones that have the turney thing in the right-hand corner?  The same stringent rules don’t apply to all retreats here, but we do offer a challenge by choice option, so to speak. 

During our Women’s Retreat, there is a basket where guests can choose to place their phones when they arrive to eat each meal.  Instead of hopping down the proverbial rabbit hole of social media or texting with family about where the lost soccer cleat might be, women can choose to connect with one another at the retreat instead.  Since Wi-Fi is only available in certain locations on Camp, phone use is so much more intentional and meaningful.  There’s enough friction to break patterns that can be created that we just don’t notice in our day-to-day where it’s so easy to pull out our phone or turn on the TV.      

When you disconnect from your everyday surroundings, you’re giving yourself the chance to develop as an individual. You give yourself the priceless freedom to grow and thrive.

Why did you step away from traditional employment to manage the camp?

The short answer: In order to live my life to the fullest and truly connect in my marriage, I needed to slow down.   

The longer answer: Leaving teaching was something that I never thought I would do.  It was my career and a huge part of my identity.  When people ask what I do, my easy automatic response is that I’m a teacher. Leaving teaching would mean leaving the sunshine my students brought to my life and leaving the classroom that I loved.  It was going to mean a huge pay cut to leave a job I knew how to do and jump into something unknown. And I did it anyway. 

Change can be such an exciting, inspiring, refreshing, nerve wracking thing.  It can cue the best of your imagination and opens your eyes to see things in a different light than when you are simply hitting the repeat button.  In this case, change felt a little like a shot of whiskey.  Good, but it burned going down. 

You see, I was the kid who was unwavering in what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was even in the Future Teachers of America Club as a fifth grader.  Yeah, I was that kid.  And when I got my first teaching job after college, I was more than ready.  

I rushed around in the glorified busy-ness that I called life and did the best I could to keep my head above water. I worked at Camp as much as I could to help my family, while teaching full time.  Young children just bring a light to your life in a way that nothing else does. I loved being a part of each of my student’s individual learning journeys, meeting them where they were and helping them get to where they wanted to be.

However, I didn’t love the guilt I felt if I didn’t do the most Pinterest worthy lesson, the time that was expected of me before and after school or the personal money I put into my classroom.  Conformity was a drug that I was using to self-medicate and distract from what was really important in my personal life.

Pictured above: Sarah and her wife, Skye Ackenbom, daughter of founder Chuck Ackenbom.

Sarah and Skye run the camp alongside Alina Ackenbom, Executive Director and Founder/Director of Friendship Tennis Academy and wife of Camp Founder Chuck Ackenbom.

“We wanted to be more intentional with our lives, curate what we wanted life to look like and eliminate everything else.” - Sarah Ackenbom

I was stretched to my limit commuting two hours every day, working a long day at school, and coming home to work more at Camp. I was averaging about four or five hours of sleep a night. Weekends weren’t a respite, they meant more work at Camp and then most of Sunday evening meant preparing for school the next day.  Skye and I had little time together, and when we did, we talked mainly about work.  Every once in a while, we promised ourselves that we would only talk about personal things and stop talking about Camp or school, but it always found a way to creep back in.  Ten years into teaching, Skye and I knew we couldn’t keep going this way.  

Sarah and Skye Ackenbom

We knew the change that needed to happen included many difficult decisions. We wanted to be more intentional with our lives, curate what we wanted life to look like and eliminate everything else. I said goodbye to being a classroom teacher and started full time as a Director at Camp.  From the burn that change creates, came so much good. 

Ending my teaching career was the catalyst that allowed for further growth. What I thought I should be doing and how I should be doing it adjusted to become something new:

• We slowed down and became ardently intentional about every aspect of our lives.

• We started minimizing the things in our home, budgeting the money we spent, analyzing our time and where to best put our energy and talents.

• I put boundaries in place for areas that distracted me from being present to create friction around bad habits. Absolutely no social media for me and Pinterest is only allowed on weekends!

We now live our lives at a pace that allows the sand to shift slowly between work and personal endeavors, all the while connecting and growing together. I am centered, grounded in exactly what matters most to me, in this new slow existence.

“Live a life of intention, not obligation” - Sarah Ackenbom

Skye and Sarah Ackenbom

To thine self be true.  We celebrate Shakespeare’s Hamlet for the poignant words that seem so simple when reading them.  In reality, finding your true North can be a life’s pursuit.  I always have had an internal compass to guide me on my journey and land where I belong.  I’m right where I’m meant to be.  

When someone asks me what I do, my gut reaction is still to say that I am a teacher.  The word still forms on my lips, because teaching is still a huge part of who I am in my heart. Thankfully, it is also a huge part of what I do in my work at Camp. Now, I proudly get to say that I am a Camp Director.  

Ali C: What would you say to someone considering a life change similar to one you made?

Sarah A: Find the experiences that resonate with you to live a life of intention, not obligation.

Ali C: What is your hope in sharing Camp Friendship with Everthrive’s audience?

Sarah A: My hope in sharing information about Camp Friendship is to help people connect.  It’s what drives me.  Because maybe, just maybe, we offer something that people are searching for.  

Whether you went camping as a child or not, whether you feel isolated in your life or you’ve already found your tribe, Camp Friendship might fill a hole that someone is looking to fill.  

When I talk about the magic of camp, it’s true.  It’s in the air here…  

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I’m very thankful for Sarah’s personal story about disconnecting from daily life, placing yourself in special communion with nature, and connecting with yourself and others who appreciate the essentials of life.

If you’d like to learn more about how Camp Friendship connects people and nature in a meaningful way, click any of the videos below.

Additionally, if you’d like to learn more about the concepts that Camp Friendship upholds, namely disconnecting to connect, communing with nature, or living simply, you might be interested in any of these related articles on Everthrive:

Disconnecting to Connect

Take the Slow Way

Listen to Nature

Word of the Year: Listen

Be Free

When you stay at Camp Friendship, you aren’t just renting a cabin. You’re immersing yourself in an outdoor experience with access to all our grounds provide – a private space to get away.

This video captures the spirit and philosophy of Camp Friendship in Virginia.

Be DAREful

The following is a guest post by Jen Whalen of True North Adventures, an organization designed to help women get back into alignment with their authentic selves through intentional outdoor experiences. In April of 2018, TNA will take a group of DAREful women to Costa Rica for a week-long surf, yoga, and self-care immersion.

Read more about Be DAREful Costa Rica at seektruenorth.com/be-dareful-costa-rica.

"How to be DAREful" by Jen Whalen 

As I lowered down off of a recent gym climb, I smiled, feeling that familiar surge of energy… pumped forearms, rapid heartbeat.  As my swollen, chalky fingers fumbled with untying my knot, I said to my belayer, “Good thing I mock-led that one as I was falling all over the place!” She laughed in disbelief and said, “You didn’t fall once! Are you serious?!?”

I was serious. I barely believed I could climb that challenging route when I grabbed the first hold 10 minutes earlier.  Kilian and I were just “monkeying around” with the possibilities on the far edge of my climbing ability as we waited for our climbing instructor to finish up with another pair, so I went for it.  From my perspective, I thought I hacked my way up it and fell off several times along the way. However, my belayer, who was intentionally observing for feedback regarding clipping and body positioning, witnessed me sticking the whole thing.  I let myself really go for it on a climb I would usually have walked right past, and despite my efforts to sabotage it by not owning the achievement, I actually did it!!!  I thought I had a good sense of my learning edge, (what was possible and what was beyond my reach) but as I’m noticing  in other areas of life as well, perhaps that isn’t always accurate…

As I sat down to write about the experience afterward,  two strong questions came through, “What would my life look like if I let myself really fucking go for it as I did on that last climb?  AND What would it look like if I surrounded myself with a loving community that held me accountable for living in this way?” I noted areas where I was willing to take more risks and would likely see “bigger” results (as was the case with the climbing route that evening). However, the other areas on the list involved “big” inner risks like trusting my wise Inner Knowing and following her lead instead of hiding out in what is comfortable, saying NO more often, and prioritizing more time/space for excellent self-care, etc.

We have hundreds of choices throughout our day in which we can be DAREful and live in alignment with our heart.  It’s not always the big, impressive feats of obvious boldness and badassery that matter most… it’s also all the little ways we’re taking the time to show up for ourselves and live in alignment with our souls. Life definitely looks differently when I really let myself go for it.  My YESes are clear and feel like empowered choices where I’ve intentionally engaged with the adventure of my life.  And the Sacred NOs feel equally as clear.  I’m not backpedaling on what I need or want when other people’s priorities scream louder.  Instead, I’m listening deeply to the wisdom of my body and Soul and honoring that Inner Knowing instead of constantly calibrating my life by the expectations, shoulds and unsolicited, often fear-based advice of others.  

In April, we’re taking these same experiential practices of DAREful living from the mountains to the beach with our week-long surf/yoga/Self care immersion in beautiful Bahia Ballena, Costa Rica.  If you’re curious to learn more about this amazing adventure, click here. (link: http://seektruenorth.com/be-dareful-costa-rica/)   What would being DAREful look like in your life? Whether its joining us in Costa Rica or saying YES to another beautiful adventure, it’s my deepest hope you’ll experiment with making tiny changes that support you in living more DAREfully today.  This is where the magic is at, and I would be honored to join you in the rising tide of women holding each other accountable for “going for it” in this way.  

Curious to learn more? Set up an exploration call with Jen at JEN@SEEKTRUENORTH.COM

When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge

Last weekend, I enjoyed a long lunch in the city with my fiancé and our friend Jon. Afterwards, we needed to get to Lincoln Park, and had been planning on taking the CTA. But, when it came time to depart, we made the impromptu decision to walk. It was a gorgeous late spring day in Chicago - perfect for a four mile stroll.

This may not be the best example, but it is an example nonetheless. We chose to walk, breaking our pattern. We changed our plan. We simply traveled north, barely consulting our GPS. We decided to meander through the zoo - it's free! why not? - and, to my elation, we happened upon an amazing art piece near Lincoln Park Zoo's South Pond. I had seen photos of this arch in my Instagram feed, and often wondered where it was, reaching its curvaceous wooden beams towards the sky.

As the arch meets the sky, a pattern is broken, and an appreciation for art and nature takes over. Instead of thinking about the negative impact that civilization has on the world, we think of the positive. Our impulsive decision to forgo public transportation was validated. This arch offered us a zen retreat in the midst of car horns and bustling commuters. Surrounded by a natural prairie landscape, this place provided an entrance to a new world of calm and peace.

“When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” - Tuli Kupferberg