Camp Friendship

As we head through these languid summer months, my mind drifts to my teenage experiences at summer camp. My brothers and I attended a wilderness camp north of Duluth, MN, where we flourished while living semi-off grid near the Canadian Quetico wildness. We became more independent and self-reliant as we learned basic wilderness survival skills along side other teenagers and young adults. By leaving suburban Chicago behind, we were able to exist within a unique community, commune with nature, test our limits, and become much stronger for it. In essence, that’s what camp is all about!

Sarah Ackenbom, Retreats Coordinator and Director of Camp Friendship in Palmyra

Sarah Ackenbom, Retreats Coordinator and Director of Camp Friendship in Palmyra

I recently connected to Sarah Ackenbom, Director and Retreats Coordinator of Camp Friendship located on the edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains in Palmyra, Virginia. 

As a former elementary school teacher, Sarah loves guiding children through their individual learning journeys. Naturally, she feels a very personal connection to the experiences that summer camp can offer children, and she also believes that adults can have a similar transcendent experience.

There’s something about attending a summer camp that can help people slow down, focus on the essential, and connect to what’s important. Learn more about this below as Sarah shares her perspective on the grounding effects of spending time at Camp Friendship.

Ali C: How does Camp Friendship help people slow down and live more simply?  How does the camp allow for a soulful connection with nature?

Sarah A: There’s something about coming to summer camp that innately allows you to breathe. Spending time outside hearing the crunch of pine needles underfoot and the smell of crisp mountain air just gives you the feeling of space that you may not find so easily elsewhere.  

Whenever I leave camp for whatever reason, it’s funny that the first thing I notice now is the quality of air.  Sometimes you don’t realize the importance of something until you no longer have it.  The air of camp is that for me.  I can breathe here, and nowhere else compares.  This aura that floats through camp air is what I believe helps those who visit here to stop and reflect.  There’s somehow more space for that reflection when you can breathe.  


Ali C: How will the camp reduce noise to help people reflect and grow?  Is there a digital detox element?

Sarah A: The sound of birds chirping replaces the need for an alarm clock and the river along the edge of our property creates the white noise people pay for on their mindfulness app without needing to look at a screen.  Because of this, I’m constantly reminded of a quote from Chinese philosopher Lau Tzu: “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” (Random note: Just because I live and work at Camp Friendship, doesn’t mean I’m constantly living by the words of philosophers.  I just read this particular quote attached to my tea bag one day and it stuck with me!)

There is a lot of noise outside the bubble of Camp to constantly produce, to superficially connect, to go, go, go.  Within this world, people can slow down – technology doesn’t really fit in a place like this.  Our young summer campers are required to give up all technology when they stay here.  We even ask them to bring disposable cameras, you know, the ones that have the turney thing in the right-hand corner?  The same stringent rules don’t apply to all retreats here, but we do offer a challenge by choice option, so to speak. 

During our Women’s Retreat, there is a basket where guests can choose to place their phones when they arrive to eat each meal.  Instead of hopping down the proverbial rabbit hole of social media or texting with family about where the lost soccer cleat might be, women can choose to connect with one another at the retreat instead.  Since Wi-Fi is only available in certain locations on Camp, phone use is so much more intentional and meaningful.  There’s enough friction to break patterns that can be created that we just don’t notice in our day-to-day where it’s so easy to pull out our phone or turn on the TV.      

When you disconnect from your everyday surroundings, you’re giving yourself the chance to develop as an individual. You give yourself the priceless freedom to grow and thrive.

When you disconnect from your everyday surroundings, you’re giving yourself the chance to develop as an individual. You give yourself the priceless freedom to grow and thrive.

Why did you step away from traditional employment to manage the camp?

The short answer: In order to live my life to the fullest and truly connect in my marriage, I needed to slow down.   

The longer answer: Leaving teaching was something that I never thought I would do.  It was my career and a huge part of my identity.  When people ask what I do, my easy automatic response is that I’m a teacher. Leaving teaching would mean leaving the sunshine my students brought to my life and leaving the classroom that I loved.  It was going to mean a huge pay cut to leave a job I knew how to do and jump into something unknown. And I did it anyway. 

Change can be such an exciting, inspiring, refreshing, nerve wracking thing.  It can cue the best of your imagination and opens your eyes to see things in a different light than when you are simply hitting the repeat button.  In this case, change felt a little like a shot of whiskey.  Good, but it burned going down. 

You see, I was the kid who was unwavering in what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was even in the Future Teachers of America Club as a fifth grader.  Yeah, I was that kid.  And when I got my first teaching job after college, I was more than ready.  

I rushed around in the glorified busy-ness that I called life and did the best I could to keep my head above water. I worked at Camp as much as I could to help my family, while teaching full time.  Young children just bring a light to your life in a way that nothing else does. I loved being a part of each of my student’s individual learning journeys, meeting them where they were and helping them get to where they wanted to be.

However, I didn’t love the guilt I felt if I didn’t do the most Pinterest worthy lesson, the time that was expected of me before and after school or the personal money I put into my classroom.  Conformity was a drug that I was using to self-medicate and distract from what was really important in my personal life.

Pictured above: Sarah and her wife, Skye Ackenbom, daughter of founder Chuck Ackenbom.Sarah and Skye run the camp alongside Alina Ackenbom, Executive Director and Founder/Director of Friendship Tennis Academy and wife of Camp Founder Chuck Ackenbom.

Pictured above: Sarah and her wife, Skye Ackenbom, daughter of founder Chuck Ackenbom.

Sarah and Skye run the camp alongside Alina Ackenbom, Executive Director and Founder/Director of Friendship Tennis Academy and wife of Camp Founder Chuck Ackenbom.

“We wanted to be more intentional with our lives, curate what we wanted life to look like and eliminate everything else.” - Sarah Ackenbom

I was stretched to my limit commuting two hours every day, working a long day at school, and coming home to work more at Camp. I was averaging about four or five hours of sleep a night. Weekends weren’t a respite, they meant more work at Camp and then most of Sunday evening meant preparing for school the next day.  Skye and I had little time together, and when we did, we talked mainly about work.  Every once in a while, we promised ourselves that we would only talk about personal things and stop talking about Camp or school, but it always found a way to creep back in.  Ten years into teaching, Skye and I knew we couldn’t keep going this way.  

Sarah and Skye Ackenbom

Sarah and Skye Ackenbom

We knew the change that needed to happen included many difficult decisions. We wanted to be more intentional with our lives, curate what we wanted life to look like and eliminate everything else. I said goodbye to being a classroom teacher and started full time as a Director at Camp.  From the burn that change creates, came so much good. 

Ending my teaching career was the catalyst that allowed for further growth. What I thought I should be doing and how I should be doing it adjusted to become something new:

  • We slowed down and became ardently intentional about every aspect of our lives.

  • We started minimizing the things in our home, budgeting the money we spent, analyzing our time and where to best put our energy and talents.

  • I put boundaries in place for areas that distracted me from being present to create friction around bad habits. Absolutely no social media for me and Pinterest is only allowed on weekends!

We now live our lives at a pace that allows the sand to shift slowly between work and personal endeavors, all the while connecting and growing together. I am centered, grounded in exactly what matters most to me, in this new slow existence.

“Live a life of intention, not obligation” - Sarah Ackenbom

Skye and Sarah Ackenbom

Skye and Sarah Ackenbom

To thine self be true.  We celebrate Shakespeare’s Hamlet for the poignant words that seem so simple when reading them.  In reality, finding your true North can be a life’s pursuit.  I always have had an internal compass to guide me on my journey and land where I belong.  I’m right where I’m meant to be.  

When someone asks me what I do, my gut reaction is still to say that I am a teacher.  The word still forms on my lips, because teaching is still a huge part of who I am in my heart. Thankfully, it is also a huge part of what I do in my work at Camp. Now, I proudly get to say that I am a Camp Director.  

Ali C: What would you say to someone considering a life change similar to one you made?

Sarah A: Find the experiences that resonate with you to live a life of intention, not obligation.

Ali C: What is your hope in sharing Camp Friendship with Everthrive’s audience?

Sarah A: My hope in sharing information about Camp Friendship is to help people connect.  It’s what drives me.  Because maybe, just maybe, we offer something that people are searching for.  

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Whether you went camping as a child or not, whether you feel isolated in your life or you’ve already found your tribe, Camp Friendship might fill a hole that someone is looking to fill.  

When I talk about the magic of camp, it’s true.  It’s in the air here…  

 

I’m very thankful for Sarah’s personal story about disconnecting from daily life, placing yourself in special communion with nature, and connecting with yourself and others who appreciate the essentials of life.

If you’d like to learn more about how Camp Friendship connects people and nature in a meaningful way, click any of the videos below.

Additionally, if you’d like to learn more about the concepts that Camp Friendship upholds, namely disconnecting to connect, communing with nature, or living simply, you might be interested in any of these related articles on Everthrive:

Disconnecting to Connect

Take the Slow Way

Listen to Nature

Word of the Year: Listen

Be Free

When you stay at Camp Friendship, you aren’t just renting a cabin. You’re immersing yourself in an outdoor experience with access to all our grounds provide – a private space to get away.

This video captures the spirit and philosophy of Camp Friendship in Virginia.



Living a Life Less Ordinary

This post was originally published on Simple Living, June 9th, 2017

In my early 20s, I breezed through life in a state of constant movement and engagement. I lived in five separate cities, two different countries, and held a grand total of 11 jobs in the span of 4 years. With a serious case of the dreaded FOMO (fear of missing out), I felt the grass was greener elsewhere.

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Just like everyone I knew, I was always out-and-about, rarely spending a night in watching television, reading a book, or cultivating a hobby. Each new “Yes!” and each new connection were meant to boost my self-esteem. I thought if people saw that I was doing so much, they might respect me, or at the least, be very impressed. I made sure my MySpace and Facebook profiles were well-curated to show others how productive, interesting, and successful I was.

Reality, 2004

Reality, 2004

In reality, I wasn’t very successful. And, I wasn’t very happy. I was sleep deprived, overweight, and insecure. Like all of my peers, I didn’t want to be considered “ordinary.” But  I was exactly like everyone else in my chaos: churning, yearning, and chasing.

When I lived in LA in 2006, I held three simultaneous jobs, none of which produced enough money to pay for my lifestyle. I sold my car to make ends meet. Instead of putting efforts towards lasting friendships and relationships, I was thoroughly invested in the Hollywood mentality of looking over people’s shoulders to see if there was someone better to talk to. Due to my social choices, I was lonely. I wished that I could just stop everything and work on my mental well-being, physical health, and my finances, but I didn’t think it was possible. I had to be “out there.” I had to be social. I had the chance to rediscover myself each day through the eyes of others.

I wished my life could be simpler.

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 What if I could have healthy self-esteem, a positive public image, excellent productivity, and the respect of my peers without being so busy?

The idea of simplifying my life seemed like a temporary solution, and not suitable for long term success. It also seemed quite “ordinary.” Sure, I can stay in one night and eat a healthy dinner and go to bed early. But, what about the rest of the nights? Would I be missing out on important connections? I worried that if I didn’t fill my calendar to the brim, I’d be bored, lonely and depressed.  

As it was, I was already bored, lonely and depressed. I needed to change. So, I began to consciously cut things out of my life. The removal of excess started with my decision to have just one job. I thought long and hard about what I was capable of doing. Instead of asking myself “What do I want to do?”, I started asking myself, “What can I do?” After four years of searching, gallivanting, and pursuing self-serving activities, I decided to be more focused, and to make a difference in the lives of others. So, in 2009, I decided to become a teacher.

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Through teaching, I found peace. I found solace in the built-in routine of the school day, and I began to grow personally, achieve professionally, and thrive in other areas of life. There was less pressure for me to be “out there” “on the scene,” since I found fulfillment in my career, and with that came fulfillment in other areas of life.

I no longer had a need for social media presence, so I deleted my Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter accounts. I got a dog – Chauncey – who taught me the meaning of unconditional love, responsibility, and what it means to be grateful. I made more room in my life for things that really matter. By living simply and mindfully, I was finally in a place where I could find someone to share, grow, and thrive with. That’s when I met my husband Josh.

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I began to live more simply, but I was not done with the idea of living

Many people approach the idea of living simply with great apprehension. They think, if I live simply, will I have to stick to the same routine every day? Is simple living just sitting back and watching life pass me by? Will it mean that I am done with growth, achievement, weekends out-of-town, brunch, concerts, and the new coffee shop with vegan cake-batter doughnuts? I used to think the call to simplify things was a temporary solution, and not suitable for the long-term.

Living simply is anything but resignation

I’d like to present the idea that living simply is anything but resignation. Since I found my truth through simplicity, I know that true, authentic living can be discovered when we pare life down to its essential elements.

By slowing my life down, I opened up to listening, thinking, and experiencing joy with the important people in my life. I’ve found that simple doesn’t have to be boring, mediocre, or unfulfilling. Simplifying didn’t stop me from actualizing my potential, and simplifying for me doesn’t mean sitting back and watching life pass by.

Of course, what is “essential” or “simple” is different for everyone, but the concept remains the same. Let me show you what simple means to me.

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Simplicity in nature

Simple is daily walks with my dog, Chauncey. He and I both prefer new routes and different scenery, but I find solace in returning to old routes, where I can observe the change of the seasons, the subtle variations of the landscape; catching the scent of cedar shingles going up on that house on the corner, and the aromatic lilacs emerging on the bush next door.

There’s something so lovely and comforting in wishing my neighbors “Good morning!” or taking a peek at the new titles in our Neighborhood Library, or even adding a few titles of my own. The fresh air, sun, and expanse of the world is important for me to experience since both Chauncey and I are inside for most hours of the day. Experiencing nature has been the best therapy for me because it gives me little mental breaks in order to be at my best for the rest of the day.

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Simplicity in technology

Simple is leaving our phones behind when Josh and I go out together. These phone-free nights have turned out to be the best ever. We allow ourselves to be completely present, captivated, and attentive to each other. A weight has been lifted without the allure of our glowing screens. We’re in the 90s again: there is no third-wheel and there isn’t any notification-induced anxiety. Keeping technology simple also translates to other situations. Unless I am expecting an urgent call, I have my phone on silent, and I try to limit the times when I check my phone. I also think about why I have an urge to check my phone, and try to be more mindful in the future.

Sometimes when I’m working, I set my phone to Airplane Mode in order to really clear up the mental space to fully engage in what I am doing. Better yet, I leave my phone in another room to minimize the temptation. If I simplify by taking conscious breaks from technology, and reduce the inclination to multitask, I’ve found that I can be much more productive and engaged.

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Simplicity in relationships

Simple is The Date Jar. When we moved in together a few years ago, Josh and I collected the names of unique and well-priced restaurants in our area and put the names in our Date Jar. We even mixed in some “stay at home and play scrabble” cards, local coupons, and crumpled dollar bills. So, when Friday night comes around, we alternate who picks from the jar.

Gone are the days where we spent a portion of our evenings deciding what to do, what to eat, or where to go. Our date nights are spent enjoying togetherness, surprising food, and experiencing the rush of somewhere new. I’ve also transferred this mentality to making time to appreciate loved ones. I don’t just text them, post on their Facebook wall or comment on their Instagram posts. Now I actually save time to call them or even be with them in person. When I’m one-on-one with a friend, everything slows down and we are simply together, exchanging conversation, making memories.

 

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Simplicity in experiences

When I was 18, I traveled to Europe with my best friend. We visited over 11 countries in 19 days, and it was a complete whirlwind of which we remember very little (glad we took photos!).

Since then, I’ve learned to simplify my trips to make them more memorable. Recently, Josh and I circumnavigated Iceland for 12 days, roaming the country in a tiny Citroen motorhome. Our experiences and memories of that trip are a testament to the time we invested to slow down and experience the beauty, culture and majesty of Icelandic nature. In not over-planning each day, we made room for spontaneous pull-overs to check out vistas, Icelandic horses, or abandoned farmhouses.

Camping each night was a deliberate choice that we made; anyone can stay at a hotel and have the same exact experience every time. In addition, we didn’t want to be tied to certain hotels, and strict check-in and check-out times. We camped to bring our experience down to its bare bones, to grow from it and have an amazing story to tell our children one day.

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Simplicity in self-care

Simple is wearing my glasses instead of bothering with contacts. I have a few more minutes to enjoy lingering and lunching with a colleague instead of fussing with dry eyes. I also have a bit more money at the end of the year since contacts are expensive.

Simple is investing in colorful fruits and vegetables, and making a large batch of vegetable slaw a few times a week to make it easy to consume veggies. Simple is eating mindfully during the week so that a few weeknight cookies or weekend cocktails are a welcome and fun indulgence.

Simple is taking conscious deep breaths while I’m working, and stepping outside to enjoy a mental break every so often. When I return, I can bring a fresh perspective and energy to my work.

Simple is reducing my closet to the essentials so that I don’t take too much time getting dressed, and so I have more time to invest in work, leisure or people. I pay close attention to my closet: those clothes, shoes, or accessories that I don’t touch for a season get donated or sold. The same applies to books, furniture, appliances, or other items. The challenge of reducing is completely worth it because I have a great feeling of accomplishment when someone else can find value in my forgotten things.

Simplicity is different for everyone. 

What might be simple and meaningful for me may not be for you. However, the concept is the same. When I simplified, I made room for the life I was meant to have. My life is free from the “business of busy.” It’s the life my husband and I always dreamed of – it’s a life less ordinary.

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