Be a Friend

"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." - A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Festival of India, Washington Park, NYC, 2013

True friendship, according to Aristotle, is one of the "highest goods," or virtues most valued in life. More than two millennia after Aristotle's death, people continue to prove that life is more meaningful when experienced with others.

After seeking freedom from society and from conformity, Christopher McCandless came to the realization that "happiness is only real when shared."

C. S. Lewis agrees, saying that friendship may seem unnecessary on the surface, but it is "one of those things that give value to survival."

When America Online started to serve the masses in the early 90's, the concept of friendship began its transformation. Instead of the noun "friend," we now usethe verb "to friend," as in "friend me on Facebook." This practice has reduced friendship to a passive networking activity, one where it is more important to be recognized as a connection than to actually be a friend. Driven by convenience, this trend dilutes what it means to truly be a friend, and the quality of our true friendships is suffering for it. We are postponing the maintenance of meaningful friendships, thereby treating friends as mere connections.

Conditioned by the ease of typing to our friends, we may wake up one day and find ourselves with many, many friends, but that we are utterly alone. This new method of friendship has turned us into solitary individuals, silently typing into devices, reaching for one another in a boundless, virtual world. 

Unfortunately, hyper-connectivity is here to stay, so our job is to develop the skills necessary to nurture our 21st century friendships in deserving ways. It is important to meet our friends in real time, and in real space, to nurture these relationships. Prearranged outings show that we are aware of our friend's importance, and that we value their time. Face-to-face interactions assist in building our relationships, and help us to validate each other by sharing activities and experiences. 

Meaningful growth occurs in these personal moments, causing us to reach out, again and again, for our friends.

Hiding ourselves in text messages, emails, and status updates does nothing to get us out of our "corners of the forest." As A. A. Milne points out in his stories about Winnie the Pooh, "we must go to our friends," because they give meaning to our lives. We must remember that true friendships take time and effort to nurture, and we must do the work necessary to deserve our friends. For after all, it is through the presence of our friends that we are able to thrive, and be happy. 

Peace of Bread

Bread is the most widely consumed food in the world, transcending culture, class, race, and ethnicity. Bread is the basic element of any meal. The ancient Egyptians, often cited as the “creators of bread,” used it as currency, and even placed loaves in tombs to accompany the deceased into the afterlife. In the same way, the bread of the 21st century continues to be a thing of ceremony: it is the first food item to be placed on dining tables, it is integral to the concept of a sandwich, and it symbolizes forgiveness, sacrifice, and love in religious celebrations. It’s no wonder that bread is a universal sign of peace and community.

In most developed countries, bread is sold in limitless shapes and sizes, for all diets, appetites, and purposes. Choosing a loaf can be an overwhelming task. To assist us, brands highlight health benefits on the packaging. We’re conditioned to look for maximum fiber, minimum carbohydrates, maximum protein, lowest amount of fat, and no sugar. To achieve these perfect loaves, bread chemists add bleached flour, GMOs, corn syrup, dough conditioners, preservatives, hard-to-pronounce additives, and even non-food items to their bread.

Perplexed, we gravitate towards organic or “all natural” companies for additive-free bread. We end up paying more money for loaves like Ezekiel 4:9 sprouted grain bread, “ancient grain” breads, or gluten free bread. We end up at bakeries such as Great Harvest or When Pigs Fly to ensure the presence of fresh, whole grains and fiber. We feel good about ourselves by supporting local businesses, but we have to go our of our way to do so.

If we are going to go the extra mile for quality bread, why not bake our own instead?

Baking our own bread goes beyond the health benefits: baking is akin to meditation, since bakers must follow multiple steps in a specific sequence. The peaceful repetition in the basic steps — the mixing of milled flour with course grains, seeds, nuts and salt, the blooming of the yeast and adding it to dry ingredients along with warm water, and finally the kneading of the dough — produces a calming effect. We pause and consider the care we put into things we create. We practice patience as we wait for the bread to rise, sometimes upwards of 90 minutes, and we experience elation when the aroma of the yeast and grains reaches the pleasure centers of our brains. The act of providing such a basic element of nourishment contributes to our overall well-being, and we experience a renewed sense of achievement with each successive loaf.

We can impress others with our competence, and create happiness with the simple gift of bread. By baking, slicing, and storing bread in the freezer for later use, we are rewarded by the peace bread can bring, again and again.

Click here for Everthrive’s recipe — Pumpkin Sunflower Flax Bread