Why You Should Consider an Adventure Honeymoon (video included!)

With honeymoon highlight reel at the end!

We went on our honeymoon exactly 4 years ago. I’ve always wanted to share our experiences, but I hadn’t been able to make the time until now. This article is written with the intention of both celebrating our marriage, and sharing our somewhat unique experiences.

For our honeymoon in 2016, Josh and I didn’t choose an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. We decided not to spend 12 days on the beach listening to the ocean waves while receiving couples massages. No, we didn’t dine on crab legs and champagne at an Instagram-able 5-star restaurant.

Instead, we chose to rent a tiny camping van and circumnavigate the tiny Nordic country of Iceland.

When we discussed our plans with friends prior to departing, we were met with blank stares and confusion. “Camping around Iceland? For your honeymoon? Isn’t it covered in ice?”

Yes, well, why on earth would we choose to honeymoon in a country that’s known for ice.* Not to mention unforgiving volcanic landscape and an average June temp of 48F? Especially right after the flurry that is planning and executing a wedding?

*It should be noted that Greenland is covered in ice; Iceland is actually much more green.

Our reply: Why not?

It was June 24 2016 when we arrived in a foggy Reykjavik.

It was raining just slightly and was a balmy 52 degrees F. After shuttling from the airport, we rented a Snail vehicle, our little home as we slowly made our way around this special country.

The van freed us from the obligation check-in and check-out times at hotels and farm-stays: we could roam as late and as far as we pleased! Since we didn’t pass many places to eat, we ate prepacked dehydrated meals we cooked over a small gas powered stove. The 24 hour daylight afforded us unlimited opportunities to nurture our new marriage with fun experiences.

Since it often took 1-2 hours to drive to each new destination, Josh and I had plenty of time to immerse ourselves in the beauty and majesty of Icelandic nature. We made room for spontaneous pull-overs to check out vistas, Icelandic horses, hot springs, waterfalls, abandoned farmhouses, or to say hello to the sheep - they were quite literally everywhere!

Even though we didn’t choose to relax together at a tropical resort, we were still able to slow down and be present with one another.

Camping each night was a deliberate choice that we made; anyone can stay at a hotel and generally have a predictable experience every time. We slept under the Icelandic sky to bring us closer to nature and to have an amazing story to tell our children one day.

As with any type of honeymoon, we collected many special memories on our journey.

My mind holds specific snapshots frozen in time, moments that brought Josh and I even closer together. Some of these included eating fermented whaleshark at Bjarnarhöfn Shark Museum on Snæfellsnes, exploring an abandoned herring factory in Djúpavík (featured in a 2010 film by Sigur Rós), losing ourselves in the rushing water of Dettifoss (the second most powerful waterfall in Europe), and braving strong winds to photograph the sweetest little puffins we’ve ever seen.

Sometimes our experiences didn’t seem so great at the time.

Admittedly, things didn’t always go according to plan. For example, early in our journey, while we were searching for somewhere to camp, our van became stuck in a volcanic sand trap.

We were really tired, hungry, we were starting to get short with each other, and then we got literally stuck in what we thought was an impossible situation. Miraculously, we were not only able to trial-and-error our way out of that hole, but we also endured another grueling hour of hunting for a camping spot. It was almost 11pm when we were finally able to park and cook dinner.

In hindsight we are able to recall that evening with pride. We overcame several obstacles together. We saw how we both handled the stressful situation, and the result made us even more connected as a couple by increasing the respect we have for one another. Conquering tricky situations paves the way for potential opportunities to become better people, and becoming better people together is the best gift of all.

We’re proud of our atypical honeymoon, but it wasn’t easy. It took a considerable amount of planning, countless hours of driving on questionable roads, and some physically demanding hikes. And it was colder and more rainy than we had expected. At times, I really did wish I was at the beach nursing a piña colada and a good book.

Sometimes the best experiences come from working through hard times. Together, Josh and I built our experience from scratch. We certainly could have purchased an itinerary or tour experience from a travel company, but we chose to do the work ourselves in order to receive a greater reward.

Married life is not a long period of relaxation and curated positive moments. Marriage is a complex road of interpersonal interactions and a mixture of all sorts of experiences.

Marriages also take plenty of work! With our honeymoon, Josh and I wanted to celebrate our marriage, to satisfy our longing for adventure and exploration, and to commemorate the beginning of our new “forever” chapter. We marked the start of our marriage with a honeymoon that more closely mirrored the zigzag, up and down, character-building aspects of life.

Can’t typical honeymoons accomplish the same goals?

Of course “typical” honeymoons can also be filled with important, life-affirming experiences. For us, it felt right to choose the road less traveled. This decision led to the creation certain parts of our personal identities, as well as our identity as a couple.

What do you think?

I’d love to know your thoughts about choosing a honeymoon. For all you recently engaged lovebirds - what are you choosing to do to mark the beginning of your married life together? And the married folks - what type of honeymoon did you go on?

Please feel free to leave a comment below, or send a quick email to ali.everthrive@gmail.com. I can’t wait to connect with you!

Thank you spending some of your day with me.

With gratitude,

Ali

Experiences, Not Things

My husband Josh and I greatly value vacationing together. Through shared appreciation for destinations different than the norm, we've grown closer to each other. We've tested our limits and affirmed our partnership by tackling and overcoming obstacles in places both familiar and strange. As a result of planning for travel and sharing adventures off the beaten path, we've also made a lot of amazing memories. 

Never once on our journeys did we purchase a souvenir. And, never once have we regretted it. In place of trinkets, we create memories that last much longer. In fact, we find so much happiness and importance in experiences that we rarely give each other traditional gifts.

As it turns out, considerable research has been done in support of our conclusions. What follows is five reasons why it is important for personal and relational growth to invest in experiences, not things. 

1. Experiences last longer in our memories than material items do. In contrast, memories - even the bad ones - become sweeter with time. These memories might fade, but the emotion and sentiment from the imprinted experience becomes a part of us. The result is a ripple effect: the experience expands our lives, builds on who we are, thereby making us more complete people. Our experiences not only become a part of us, they also connect us to others with whom we share experiences. We can try our hardest, but material things (even our mobile devices) cannot become part of us. We are the sum of our experiences, not our things. 

2. Since they enhance our character, experiences are a better personal investment than things. Enhancing character is something seldom added to our daily to-do lists, but character is important to think about, especially when you're building a personal relationship. Experiences help us to reinforce and model good character for one another. Experiences also give us defining moments - moments we can forever characterize ourselves by - making us into better people. 

3. Experiences are worth the wait. We plan for travel months in advance; as a result, we eagerly look forward to the moment of our departure, much like school children do when anticipating summer break. The work we do in planning - from booking the tickets and the rental car, to reserving rooms, tables, or activities - is totally worth it because it improves our experience. We might brave hours of airport waiting, security checks, and baggage hold-ups, but overcoming all of that will make the trip even more satisfying.

4. Conversely, I can't think of an instance where someone plans a trivial material purchase months in advance. Of course, we should carefully plan the serious purchase of a home, since things like homes will increase our quality of life for the long-term. But, would you really want to deal with a long-term hassle for a short-term product? Take a look at grocery store check-out lines on a holiday weekend, or crowds in Walmart on Black Friday: waiting in line to buy things brings a lot of discomfort, impatience, and anxiety. Personally, I would much rather wait in line for experiential purchase than a minor material purchases.   

5. More often than not, the material things we buy go out of style or become obsolete. When we purchase something new, we appreciate it and may think we love it. To us, the new thing is fresh and attractive, and mood-lifting endorphins flood our minds due to the act of purchasing. But, we get used to the once-new objects. We adapt, and the things become boring and forgetful. Think back to something you bought five or ten years ago. How many items that you bought during that time are still relevant to your life? Chances are that the items were forgotten, went out of style, or were replaced by a newer model. Memories can also be forgotten or replaced, but the originals still remain part of us. Like I mentioned in point #1, experiences shape us into who we are, and the ensuing memories become the building blocks of our individuality. If we invest in creating quality memories with one other, we will have happiness for the long term.  

Sometimes our experiences don’t seem so good at the time – like when Josh and I got the camper stuck in a volcanic sand trap while we were searching for a campsite in Iceland. We were really tired, hungry, and were starting to get short with each other, and then we got stuck in what we thought was an impossible situation. Miraculously, we were not only able to trial-and-error our way out of that hole, but we also endured another hour of hunting for a camping spot.  

In hindsight we are able to recall that evening with pride. We overcame several obstacles together, and are better for it. We saw how we both handled the stressful situation, and the result made us even more connected as a couple by increasing the respect we have for one another. Conquering tricky situations paves the way for potential opportunities to become better people, and becoming better people is the best gift of all.

Josh and I are definitely not the first to discover the benefits of seeking unique opportunities to make memories together. What we have discovered are the tangible benefits of seeking out experiences instead of material things.

Have you ever thought about allocating more resources towards creating experiences? I’d love to know how experiential gifts have improved your life. What you think about giving and receiving experiences instead of material gifts? 

Please comment below, or send me a message at ali.everthrive@gmail.com