refocus — Blog — everthrive

“When things don't change, their sameness becomes an accretion. That is why all society puts on flesh, succumbs to the cubicles and begins to fill them.”

Tennessee Williams

This article was originally published in the spring of 2016

Not long ago, one of my former students surprised me with an existential question. After lamenting that the monotony of life was “getting him down,” he asked me what the secret was: “How do people survive the monotony of high school?”

He cited the dullness of each day repeating just as the last: getting up, going to school, studying and doing homework, going home, eating and sleeping, only to hope for the same thing again the next day. He feared an uneventful, depressing life, one where he would go through the motions simply because it was expected of him, without any other reason.

When living this particular perspective, life seems pointless, dull, and depressing.

I think we all feel this way at certain points in our lives.

In order to survive the monotony, we have to make a conscious choice to improve ourselves each day. Take new routes to school or work. Explore different options within our fields, our studies. Instead of eating lunch at our desks or in the cafeteria, eat somewhere new. Cultivate relationships with colleagues and classmates that excite and surprise us.

We should leave work at work, and return home to embrace the freedom that our personal lives bring. Don’t succumb to the couch and the allure of Netflix. Instead, invest time in that new hobby you’ve been putting off. Fix that leaky faucet. Plan a trip to a new city, or take the time to experience the nuances of own cities. Reach out to friends — old and new — and make an effort to cultivate those relationships. Spend quality technology-free time with family. Focus on each other. Appreciate the subtleties of life.

There is freedom in monotony.

We just have to have just enough spontaneity to discover and appreciate the freedom.

According to the “Prince of Paradox,” Gilbert Chesterton, monotony “has nothing to do with a place; [it] is simply the quality of a person. There are no dreary sights; there are only dreary sight seers” (Alarms and Discursions).

If we feel the confines of tedium closing in, we need to change our points of view. Finding freedom in monotony can help us reinvigorate our experience so we can thrive throughout our lives.

Fix our Fragmented Focus

Wherever you are, be all there. — Ram Dass

Evident in almost every aspect of contemporary life, multitasking is the ability to perform multiple activities at the same time. In this day and age, it’s hard to be a stranger to multitasking, since our daily business necessitates it, and our limited attention spans require it.

Wearing it like a badge of honor, we take pride in multitasking, accrediting our success to its mastery.

We liberally add “keen capacity for multitasking” to our resumes. We freely endorse these skills for our friends in LinkedIn. We boast openly of our ability to cook dinner, watch T.V., and read bedtime stories to our children while exercising on a stationary bicycle. While the bread is rising, we make phone calls to family, read blog posts, comment on social media, and organize digital files. We think: Wow! We’re doing so much! Multitasking helps us be very successful! And, we’re saving time!

However, studies show that when we needlessly divide our attention without clear goals, multitasking becomes rather questionable in terms of a valuable skill.

We probably won’t remember the name of the protagonist of that children’s story, where we placed those files, or if we added salt to our meal. If we take on two unrelated tasks at once, it takes longer to mentally switch between these tasks. Like old-school computers, our minds have to close one program to open another, and this means we have to take more time to do things. Juggling programs also reduces the quality of our work, since we are not applying undivided attention to the task at hand. This causes us to waste time, and results in lowering our efficiency and productivity. Our over-stimulated brains become tired; consequently, we turn into poor decision makers. Our progress, our success, and even our relationships can suffer from trying to be more efficient.

The following are a few recent examples where divided attention produced unnecessary and disastrous consequences. An Indiana man was too focused on taking a photo while exploring Sunset Cliffs in San Diego on Christmas, that he forgot where he was and he walked right off a cliff. This man was so desensitized by years of multitasking that his mind failed to switch between tasks, resulting in a fatal mistake. Last year, two school buses collided, killing several students and a teacher’s aid. When it was revealed that the accident was due to texting, the guilty driver took his own life.

In addition to human casualties, multitasking can lead to a variety of other undesirable results.

As our lives become more inundated with technology, we become increasingly distracted and more prone to mindless behaviors. Careless web-surfing, tweeting, and Facebooking can hinder our progress, cause depression, or destroy relationships. Media multitasking can even occur at the at the dinner table, where families no longer speak to each other. Instead, they silently tap into their devices.

Multitasking promotes social isolation and can minimize productivity.

Regardless of its bad reputation, this suspect skill remains in good favor by many. Studies show that people who multitask might be better at dealing with distractions and coping with chaotic situations. Switching between tasks may prevent boredom, and may allow people to succeed in pursuing multiple projects with multiple deadlines. This all sounds very good; however, just as many studies indicate, multitasking can minimize our productivity when misdirected (as it often is).

Since multitasking is part of our natural sphere of life, we need to understand how to use multitasking to our advantage, instead of our disadvantage.

We need to be aware of when we are multitasking and if it is truly assisting our productivity, or if it is taking away from our quality of life. We need to understand the purpose of each of our activities, and set up targets for their completion. In this way, we form a meaningful connection between our daily engagements and our long-term goals.

Our quality of life is directly linked to the fulfillment of our goals, but we can’t accomplish anything of substance if our focus is fragmented. To truly benefit from our daily activities, our conversations, and our opportunities to connect meaningfully with one another, we need to narrow our focus.

Regardless of what we are doing, to fully reap the benefits, we need to be all there.