profiles — Blog — everthrive

Have you heard of The Mind Palace? It's a podcast that discusses what it means to live an intentional life. The show is produced by two minimalism advocates, Jessica Lynn Williams and Melissa Cain. The two women live across the globe from one another - Jessica lives in Chicago and Melissa lives in the United Kingdom - but they've conquered the distance and the time difference. At least three times a month, they meet in the digital realm to record podcasts where they candidly explore what it means to live minimally and mindfully.

Jess is also the social media manager for The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. She tours with them around the world, live-tweeting and blogging from the road. She is also project manager for Minimalist.org and curator of Minimal Maxims. Heavily entrenched in the worlds of mindfulness and minimalism, she would be a great person for me reach out to.

Happily, after some emailing back and forth, I was able to connect with Jess on the topic of intentional living. We shared thoughts on how to rise above the daily grind and make the most of our minds, bodies, and souls. When I asked her, in true Everthrive fashion, "What is your favorite way to thrive?", I expected her response might concern minimalism and its main thesis of moderation, but she surprised and delighted me by going more into the heart of the matter. According to Jess, when you live out your priorities, it is easy to thrive.

Jessica Lynn Williams on Thriving

My favorite way to thrive is to live out my priorities. A while ago, I read a quote by Joshua Fields Millburn of The Minimalists about priorities. It read, “Your priorities are what you do each day.”

That was a really sobering thought. Our time is our greatest and most precious currency, and without spending that currency intentionally, we’re setting ourselves up to live a life out of alignment. So, I regularly ask myself, “Is this my priority?"

What I love about this question, is that it’s an honest way to look at the way you’re spending your life. After asking this question, I generally feel a sense of contentment so long as I’ve made good decisions that day. If I don’t feel that contentment, this is a signal to me that I need to course correct. It’s important to note that my answer isn’t always hinging on my desire to be productive. I’m reminded by a quote by the lovely Mary Oliver:

"Presence is far more intricate and rewarding an art than productivity"

If I ask myself this question while I’m getting the bath started—so long as it’s the right time—I can answer with a resounding yes, because I am taking this time to dedicate to relaxing and de-stressing, a very worthy priority. If I ask myself this question right now, I can also answer with an honest to goodness yes. I’m taking the opportunity to connect with someone who is part of my proverbial tribe (Melissa loves tribes—so Melissa that one’s for you) and start a conversation about what it means to thrive in life. If I’m out grocery shopping—I can ask myself this question, and generally I’m thinking, yes. So long as I got a good lookin’ cart filled with real, healthy foods, I can say that my priorities are in line.

One of my favorite aspects of this practice, is that it’s a fantastic antidote to anxiety. I am prone to being anxious, and one of the best ways I’ve heard of anxiety described is the feeling that you have to do everything all at once. By taking a moment to see my priorities clearly, I can give myself permission to fully immerse myself in whatever I’m doing, without getting distracted by other obligations. It gives me the opportunity to value presence.

If I ask myself this question and the answer is ‘no,' then, I think about what I can do alternatively to spend my time better. It encourages me to consider how I would like to feel, and what I can do to feel that way. If I find myself mindlessly scrolling through the holy trinity of social media (Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram) and I know that’s not a priority, I’ll instead consider how I’d like to feel and what I can do to make a good shift in my emotions. This isn’t only about feelings, and this isn’t only about a productivity hack—but it’s about living in accordance with your values, and questioning them regularly. It’s a wonderful way to get in touch with your own intuition and desires for your own life.

I'm very privileged to be able to include Anthony Ongaro in my new Everthrive Profiles project, in which I seek out individuals who are living their lives in "Everthrive" ways, and ask them "How do you thrive?"

Ongaro is a very inspiring person. He created a site called Break the Twitch where he exposes the "twitch." He defines this as a "compulsive, uncomfortable response to discomfort." For example, when we stop in the middle of a tough task and reach for our phones, we are twitching. When we mindlessly scroll through our Facebook feed and lose 30 minutes in what seems like 3 minutes, we are twitching. To dull the tedium of waiting for our train, we scroll through headlines on CNN. This is also twitching. Twitching doesn't always have to do with technology. You can get distracted by many elements in modern society, including television, shopping, eating/drinking, and even by playing video games.

To counteract the twitch, Ongaro promotes awareness. Instead of succumbing to the twitch, we should be aware of why we are twitching. Breaking the twitch requires us to minimize distractions, build good habits, and create opportunities to lead a fulfilling life. Through his blog and also through YouTube videos, Ongaro shows that everyone can live a life based on the principles of minimalism. He makes minimalism completely accessible, "whether they live in a mansion or an RV."

Naturally, I gravitate towards the ideas that Break the Twitch promotes, and I'm inspired by Ongaro's mission to motivate others to lead simpler, more authentic lives. In a recent email discussion with him about living to the fullest, Ongaro highlighted that the best way to live is to focus on authenticity first and foremost. What follows are Ongaro's ideas on how surpass survival, and how to really thrive.

In order to live authentically, I focus on the small actions that I do every day. Initially, I was very inspired by the Annie Dillard quote, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." It inspired me to begin focusing on what an ideal day might look like, as many ideal days compile into an ideal life. This helped me begin choosing small daily actions that I do every day and shifting as my priorities change.

Making sure that I complete these small actions is how I make sure that each day I'm focused on doing the things that align with my values. Each person will have different things they choose to do each day, but I focus on writing 500 words every day, doing two sets of push-ups every day while increasing by two every week, and simply creating something every day.

These are very simple but tend to be catalyst actions. I've always found that the hardest part about writing 500 words is writing the first 100. My first 500 words of the day often end up being 1,000 or more once the creativity starts flowing and this theory tends to apply to the other things as well. Doing my two sets of push-ups often leads to eating better or thinking about my other exercise levels more consciously.

Building up and checking off these small actions nearly every day helps me stay focused on the things that will create my desired outcomes over time.